Improperly Performed Acupuncture Linked to Spontaneous Human Combustion…..
Baton Rouge, LA-Experts in Traditional Chinese Medicine are warning acupuncture patients to seek out licensed practitioners after a string of grisly cases of apparent spontaneous human combustion.
“We aren’t saying that every recent case of spontaneous combustion is linked to the incorrect placement of acupuncture needles,” Kuang Zhu LAC, Chief of Applied Acupuncture in the Health and Wellness division of Vic’s Day Spa and Pet Grooming Center, explained in a press conference held today at their flagship location on Airline highway. “But in some cases, there is a relationship that is hard to explain otherwise.”
Zhu, a legally licensed acupuncturist in Baton Rouge for over thirty years, expressed concern that there are patients seeking out unlicensed and poorly trained practitioners that don’t charge as much per session. “These rogue needle wielding impersonators don’t fully grasp the power of acupuncture. With great ability to heal comes an equal ability to harm.”
Acupuncture, an ancient component of Traditional Chinese Medicine, involves the insertion of small needles into specific points on the body in order to influence the flow of life energy. These points are found along meridians, major pathways in the body through with our life energy courses. When life energy is obstructed, it becomes stagnant, and illness develops. Properly placed needles relieve this obstruction and improve our health. Needles placed haphazardly can, according to Zhu, lead to further obstruction, a worsening of one’s health, and ultimately a fiery death.
Zhu states that the phenomenon of injury by inappropriate acupuncture is not new. He has seen countless milder cases over his three decades of practice in the United States. But the worst occurred during his childhood in China. “Neighborhood gangs and even local police forces would use purposefully incorrect acupuncture as punishment or as an interrogation enhancer,” Zhu revealed. “Once I saw a body with the goshin needles still inserted in acupoints I did not even know existed. Oh, the disharmony! My childhood ended that day.”
But not every local acupuncturist supports Zhu’s theory that excessive and erroneous needle placement is to blame for the untimely explosions of Baton Rouge citizens. Frank Grimes, a local chiropractor who specializes in acupuncture, reminds us that correlation does not necessarily equal causation. “Yes, a number of the remaining body parts have been found with needles still in them,” Grimes admits. “But my concern is that linking acupuncture to spontaneous human combustion is akin to the claim that chiropractic manipulation of the neck causes strokes. Perhaps people already about to explode seek out acupuncture for symptomatic relief.”
At the heart of this issue for Zhu and his colleagues is the health of his community. He admits that acupuncture induced detonation is rare despite the recent spate, and that most people who receive acupuncture from improperly trained practitioners will at most experience mild stagnation of their Qi. “The majority of the victims of acupuncture fraud do not suffer from serious conditions. My main concern is that people with serious imbalances in their yin and yang might delay seeking out proper care just to save a few bucks.”